A Lemony Hell
So, it is confirmed--I am my mother's daughter. I am getting all organized to leave school tomorrow and like the smart person I am, I figured I should clean before I leave for a month so that I have somewhere sparkly and spotless to come back to. However, my vacuum is essentially useless (I do not know why) and I lost my broom head a while ago. I don't have the wasteful, but ever so effective swiffer and there are no mops to be found. I do, however, possess the ultimate swiss army knife of cleaning tools (according to my mother), lemon pledge, anti-dust formula. When used on floors, as it often was in my abode growing up, it has been known to hurl speeding children across rooms and to launch unsuspecting adults into a whirling, balance catching frenzy. But that's only one of the fun, exciting features of lemon scented pledge. Although its main purpose is to clean, it has many other great benefits, such as the nauseating, head-splitting headache you'll get from its fumes. It's especially potent in small, enclosed areas, such as dorm rooms. It may kill a thousand brain cells or so, but hey, who needs 'em? Would you really trade a super clean floor for a little ol' healthy brain and chemical free body?
Anyhoo, that is my rant on pledge. I didn't make it through the whole room before I realized it was a tedious and poinltess task to rid my floor of all the pebbles that cold weather drags in. And I spent so much time working on the floor, that I might vomit if I try to dust the rest of the room. This will have to do. I guess my room will only be dusted twice this year, instead of three times (once before every break! Yep, mother would love that).
And lastly, I shall end on my favorite dust related quote, spoken by my dear oldest sister Melis, in response to my complaint that mom was making me dust all the horizontal surfaces in the house:
"You know Lib, dust accumulates on vertical surfaces too."
(It's a good thing school is over, because this pledge actually is making me stupider, I almost mispelled every word in that last sentence).
Update: I'm breathing straight toxins right now. Damn you, pledge!
Posted by lib at December 15, 2007 12:36 AM